


What this is, is us

by liveonanon



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, M/M, RST, Sappy, UST
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-12
Updated: 2013-02-12
Packaged: 2017-11-29 00:25:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/680574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liveonanon/pseuds/liveonanon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroko knows the rules, knows the game, but he never thinks it could apply to him.  He follows the line - he knows where it leads.  The slow burn of love was never like in the books - it's at once worse, and better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What this is, is us

**Author's Note:**

> This story came upon me at work (ha) and in the spirit of procrastination and KagaKuro I finished it by the end of the day (haha). Unbeta'd and redundant in a lot of places, as well as possibly warped because I haven't written KagaKuro in half a year. I think it's pretty funny that my headcanon always consists of smart people (Kuroko) always falling in love with dumb bakas (Kagami, Aomine).

What is ---

_glances on the train, a water bottle, brushed hands_

_"Then I'll be your shadow." Promises made, but of what? To what end?_

_"Put your hand out. No, not that way! Not paper, rock! Rock, man!" Knuckles bump and he doesn't know why but his heart it hurts, it squeezes like a sponge that's dripping blood, and he has to look away because he never knows what to do when Kagami looks through him like a laser._

_Curiosity and concern slicing into his flesh, leaving his wounds open to the air. Kuroko bleeds but the poison drips and his heart finally starts to beat again, he's sure this is the source of magic._

Friendship is ---

_one foot out and one foot after he's following in Kagami's footsteps, they're so big they dwarf his sneakers in the sand where they're running._

_"You'll figure it out, partner."_

_That sweet ache that blooms when he looks like that, like trust is a thing he only gives Kuroko, and he's never felt this way without touching. He recalls what it is to lean on someone and have them catch you. He remembers. Remembers._

_hand clasps his arms and pull him over to Aomine, who's standing like a statue in the middle of the floor. His eyes say "Go on, do it" and in the moment Aomine looks at him he's seen past him. He is the past, and Kuroko has blown through it completely. And now - the future is spreading in front of him like unfurling leaves and open sky, he is running and there is the ocean crashing, Kagami's smile and he is so, so warm_

Intimacy is ---

_sudden and frozen, he stands in the room. He's shared the bed with Kagami exactly five times and he only realizes this now? Woken up in his arms (so, so warm), looked into his eyes and said, "Good morning" with sleep still heavy in his big frame._

_Does he even know? Suspect?_

_Lying in the hole Kagami made. Warm from his body while he's in the shower. Musty with the smell of his soap and shampoo and deodorant. A nest the perfect size for a little bird like Kuroko to rest in._

_Kagami says, "Open up" with a fried shrimp on the end of his chopsticks and he doesn't hesitate, he opens up and eats. It's good but the look Kagami gives him is better, so fond and hands gentle when they brush the crumbs off his face._

_Like a large feline, his eyes sparkle and wink as he licks tartar sauce off his finger. It was dabbed on Kuroko's cheek just a second before. "Ya missed a spot, Kuroko." He reddens but it isn't because he missed a spot, it's because Kagami doesn't even know how close he is, their knees touch and when they're sitting across from each other, Kagami spreads out his legs and their sneakers are parallel. "You're cute when you're messy."_

_He is too close and Kuroko can't breathe._

A crush is ---

_picking up a shirt and it's still warm, still has his scent, putting his nose to it and dropping it when he comes into the room_

_buying separate bottles of water though he can't drink the whole thing_

_"Hey, gimme a sip." "Please buy your own, Kagami-kun."_

_waiting by the phone and then bzzzzt! >>g'night Kuroko cya tmrrw feel better k?_

_wanting to send >>g'night I like you I love you I can't wait to see you tomorrow_

_what is this? what is this what is this? He wants to be close enough to touch, close enough to be hip-to-hip, close enough so Kagami doesn't see anybody but him. He wants to eat his food, chat, play video games, play basketball, talk some more, hear his laugh. He wants to explore the seasons of the world together, see them burst in new color, see the lines come together in his head like skeins torn apart and now being pieced back together_

_he's following the line and he knows where this leads_

Lust is ----

_heat wave in summer and Kagami's alright playing shirtless_

_He's panting and Kuroko's panting but Kuroko is the one who calls a break, eyes sliding over and he watches as Kagami pours the bottle over his head and shakes so the drops fly everywhere, he's golden and glorious and Kuroko want to lick so bad it's like a red pit slithering in his stomach_

_he licks the ice cream and Kuroko's almost stands to slide into his lap before he remembers this isn't one of his dreams_

_he sits on the bleachers with his arms wide open and his legs spread out, with every inhale Kuroko wonders what it would be like to take him into his mouth until the rhythm of his breathing grows harsh and that big body curls over him._

_say my name_

_say my name like that_

_like in my dreams when I wake up sticky and shameful_

_I regret nothing we've done don't push me don't make me do this. I want you in me and me in you and us like one supernova like in the books, but books could never be the same as you on the court, show me how you look when you lose control_

_let me taste you_

Love is ---

_take me with you_

_when he sees Kagami's strong back, holding up his dreams, the tears spring to his eyes and he can't hold them back, "We did it! We did it!" Dreams like golden thunder and rain, the cheers ring in his ears and he knows he can't live, can't breathe without Kagami_

_He realizes he's praying for this moment to last forever. If it lasted forever, it would mean it would never come up why Kuroko stayed for so long when there were other people who he could be with._

_don't you know I only want you?_

_In lieu of the break in time Kuroko counts the breaths he takes before he has to say something. 1451. 1452._

_"Hey. You're too quiet. What's up?"_

_Kuroko smiles and never let him see how he knows. He'll leave. Like all the others. And Kuroko will let him go because Kagami was always made for better, brighter things._

_"It's nothing." His throat almost chokes from the bittersweet taste._

Heartbreak is ----

_watching the scene unroll like film. Kagami. Another person's arms. Lips and hands and tongue that Kuroko imagined tangling in his hair, his mouth._

_I'm only a shadow and he is a light to more than just me._

_Kuroko tears himself away and the dam is broken, he's running. He forgets about everything except for the ice pick hammering in the place of his heart and his lungs straining for oxygen. He counts the moments and there are so many, he hangs them like a line of crystals. Admires each one._

_Hanging on for every minute because it might be last and now it is and it's all broken._

Love is ---

_"Why? You're asking ME why? You're the one who's been avoiding me!"_

_"It's nothing."_

_"Bullshit. You...that is a load of BS and you know it! Tell me the truth. Tell me the goddamn truth why you can't look me in the eye Kuroko dammit I'm not done here!"_

_"Please leave me alone, Kagami-kun."_

_"What - what is it I've done wrong? Kuroko...Kuroko I...what've I done? You don't answer my calls and we live in the same house and I never see you. How the hell did it become like this?"_

_do you love him like I love you you do, don't you? I know. I know the burn. I know the sting when you're sure you can't escape. I know how it feels and I don't blame you. Be happy. Be strong._

_Go on without me. Go on._

_"Kuroko...where did I go wrong?"_

_"Goodnight, Kagami-kun."_

_He's quiet as a mouse and in the morning, he sneaks past Kagami who's fallen asleep across the threshold of his door._

Lust is ---

_the feel of his thighs hanging over his hips, Hey, it's just a little massage Kuroko, you've been working too hard._

_The pose is everything he's ever wanted but Kagami is nothing if not gentle and considerate, his fingers never lingering. Kuroko can feel his mask breaking and brittle as every touch brings him closer to that conflagration. Heat fans his face and Kagami would be very surprised if he turned around right now, with every caress his hips push against the fabric of the sofa and he lets it, lets himself grind against the fabric._

_he tries to think of unsexy things but Kagami's breath is hot on his cheek as his hands sneak down and squeeze his ass, then slip around and it's perfect, Kuroko's mouth opens into a little O of surprise as Kagami pumps him like he's made to drive him crazy._

_His hips snap and lift and then he feels it - Kagami is hard too, pressing up against his ass. That big body leans over, pushing Kuroko's shirt to his armpits. A wet mouth plunges down on his wingbone and "Ahh!" is all he can say as Kagami ruts against him, wild and oh-so-ready -_

_"Kagami-kun!" That hand squeezes his balls and he's pulled tight like a rubber band, going, going, gone_

Love is ---

_"You should have said something."_

_"What about you? You never said anything either, Kagami-kun." About him._

_Kagami knows his thoughts. "Didn't work out. And hey, you're the one that started this."_

_"Kagami-kun is the one that's still continuing this conversation."_

_"I'm not talking about the conversation! I'm saying - this. You probably knew way before me."_

_"You should have worn a shirt during summer practice."_

_"What, checking out my abs or something? No. No wait. You're kidding me, you were seriously checking out my abs!?"_

_"Kagami-kun left them on display."_

_"Excuse me!? How is the weather my fault!?"_

_"Kagami-kun has no tolerance for extreme humidity."_

_"That's not my fault either!"_

_"What do you want?" Kuroko's voice is steady even as his hands are unsure as they trace over the abs in question. "Kagami-kun."_

_He is cut off by a kiss. A deep one, French, with lots of tongue. By the end they are both groaning and panting and rubbing against each other for round two, which consists of Kuroko's boxers being thrown across the room and what he always wanted, Kagami biting into his fist as Kuroko takes him into his mouth._

_"Izzinit obvious? Can't live without this anymore."_

_"But what is 'this'?"_

_A grunt, and one-armed Kagami hauls him back up. "This. Us. Forever."_

_His heart gives a quick double-thump and he feels dazed like he's been on upside the Ferris wheel for too long, floating up there in the air. There is nothing he can say except "Alright", which he does, and then Kagami grunts again, drags them to the bed, mess and all, and tucks them both in._

_"Stay," he says, nose buried in Kuroko's hair, and this time he melts like chocolate when Kuroko's arms go around him._

_"I'm here, Kagami-kun."_

Love isn't out of reach after all.


End file.
